That horrible tram!!!

Looks like Trams weren’t always as popular as they are now… this is a genuine article from the ‘Sydney Punch’ on the 23rd September 1882.

That horrible tram

(A Route Residents Refrain)

Oh the tram! The horrible tram!

Butting its way like a bellicose ram!

Floundering through our narrow streets,

Frighting the wits out of all it meets,

Smashing a youngster here and there,

Shaving skulls by breath of a hair!

Snorting wheezing, groaning along,

Its cracked bell tinkling a dismal song;

For all our comfort and safety to damn,

There’s nothing can beat that horrible tram!

Oh the tram! The horrible tram!

With its clash and clatter; crush and cram!

Puffing along at a snail-like pace,

Or running a-muck a frantic race!

Jibbling p’raps here, and leaving rails there,

Filling the town with a frenzied scare,

Maiming its victims, day after day,

Through Human bodies hewing its way!

Who could contrive a more devilish sham

Than we have in our horrible juggernaut tram?

Once we had streets that were open and free,

No hideous trams filled them, out on the spree;

Once we could cheerily walk out or drive,

With some faint hope of returning home alive!

No visions of limbs all bloody and torn,

Haunted our senses from night until morn:

But comfort, peace, safety, happiness, all,

Are done to death ‘neath the tram fiend’s pall!

Hades itself could scarce more our lives dawn,
Than this horrible, bloodthirsty, Juggernaut tram!

Sydney Punch, 23rd September 1882

Courtesy of Tram Scrolls, your first stop for Tram & Bus banners, Destination Art, Tram signs.

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